


Ashes to Ashes

by MegaWallflower



Category: Naruto
Genre: Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missions, POV Hatake Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 00:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19139818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaWallflower/pseuds/MegaWallflower
Summary: Regardless of personal situations, shinobi aren’t allowed to go AWOL from Konoha, especially in the middle of a war. But sometimes, you want to hold onto something, even if it’s only ashes.In which Duy is dead, Guy is missing, and Kakashi accepts the solo mission to retrieve him, dead or alive.





	Ashes to Ashes

 

“You need me to hunt down _Guy_?”

The skeptical tone in his own voice was enough to surprise even Kakashi.

Kakashi was never the type to question a mission’s objectives. He didn’t need orders clarified and he didn’t need to be reminded of the rules. He was a shinobi. He could handle that much. And he was grateful for the chance to be personally called for a solo A-rank mission.

Kakashi lowered his head respectfully and tried again. “I’m not sure I understand, Lord Third. Might Guy has gone rogue?”

“He has been AWOL for days now, and his teammates have failed to track him. By definition, this is desertion. In the middle of wartime, this act automatically calls for execution as the bare minimum punishment,” Hiruzen explained. Sagely, wise, dispassionate, unattached. The way a Shinobi should be.

Kakashi tried to remind himself to be the same, but it was difficult somehow. As annoying as people found Guy, no one had ever asked Kakashi to _kill_ him before.

“If I remember correctly, the two of you are rivals,” Hiruzen continued.

Kakashi usually denied it or went around the question, one way or another, but, “Yes, sir. Something like that.”

“I’ll ask you once more. Do you think you would be capable of killing Might Guy?”

“Yes, sir,” Kakashi answered tersely.

Hiruzen nodded; it was the right answer. “We cannot afford an international incident. Whether he has left to get revenge on the Swordsman in the Hidden Mist Village or whether he has simply defected from Konoha because his only tie to the village has died now, he is a liability and a deserter. He is only a chunin, but due to the nature of the mission and his abilities, this is an A-rank mission. You are most suited for the job.”

With a cryptic compliment like that, Kakashi probably wasn’t supposed to ask for the details. An unspoken rule. “…Why is that, Lord Third?”

Hiruzen frowned deeply, but he elaborated. “Your tracking ability and knowledge of the target. And also… Might Guy is a boy who can go to any lengths for his goal. For most people, ‘the will to make the impossible possible’ is just a lofty phrase. In the rare type of man that actually has the determination and willingness to do whatever it takes, it is a promise or a threat. A danger or an aid. His type is useful to have as underlings, but very troublesome as an enemy. It’s the reason I approved his admittance to the academy. He’s not likely to be captured easily by my best men, and he knows a forbidden technique at an unknown level of mastery. It’s a volatile, double-edged sword of a technique. Duy’s case shows a fraction of what it is capable of. Guy poses a much greater risk. Having just lost his father, he’s likely to lash out unless he’s facing someone else who he doesn’t want to lose.”

“…Lost his father?” That came out sharper than expected.

Hiruzen fixed him with a stern look, and Kakashi bowed his head again, digging his teeth into his lower lip as his muscles tensed. He mentally scolded himself for speaking out of turn to his Hokage. This was probably just as much of a test of his loyalty to the village and a mission as it was a way of dealing with Guy.

A test to make sure Kakashi wouldn’t fall into the same mistakes that eventually cost his father his life and the village’s reputation.

Kakashi pursed his lips, sighed to himself, and tried again, tone adjusted to fit the situation. “I accept the mission. I just need to know what I’m doing,” Kakashi said, more evenly and quietly this time. Years of detachment were exercised on his cool visage.

Hiruzen eased up and nodded sagely. He was pleased enough with that as an answer. At least, he seemed pleased to Kakashi. This man was a difficult one to read. “Yes, Might Duy has been lost. Team Choza found themselves in a confrontation that was well above their skill level. Duy intervened, and ultimately failed. His opponents were the infamous Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist Village. There are still about half of the swordsmen who were left alive. They have reportedly fled, but the village morale doesn’t need to be affected by something like this, and the ANBU are still searching for traces of them nearby, in case that proves untrue. The members of Team Choza were ordered to remain on standby and not tell anyone about this, which Genma and Ebisu have both complied with. Guy, however…”

Hiruzen sat back in his chair and stared off into space, quietly muttering something about boys that age and their feelings towards their fathers.

Kakashi wondered if Hiruzen could give this same order if the boy in question was Asuma. Then again, Kakashi had never met Asuma’s brother. Maybe it already had happened once before.

The Hokage finally continued, looking back at Kakashi. “War is complex. I’m sure you understand. It is better to keep this out of common knowledge. Sometimes a relative vestige of peace during war comes at a cost. I would not have sought you out for this mission if I did not think you would understand the value of those ideals over a few lives. I do not think I have misjudged you, have I, Kakashi Hatake?” Dark eyes remained focused on the young boy, noting how he seemed to be processing what little information he gave him.

_Are you your father’s son or are you your village’s shinobi, Hatake?_

The unspoken words took a minute to finally process in his cloudy mind. Kakashi was being tested, Guy had run off somewhere, and Duy was dead. Kakashi should be focused on any of the other details given to him, but Duy was dead. Duy was a genin that no one would give a mission above D-rank, no one would even trust him with a D-rank mission if it was outside the village. How was Duy dead?

Hiruzen cleared his throat. “The measure of a shinobi is in his ability to weigh what they have to protect and properly place their loyalties. Sacrifices are a necessity of life. Choosing to sacrifice the wrong thing at the wrong time will only prolong everyone’s suffering. This is something one must learn while they’re young. Sometimes people die, and sometimes people have to die. I understand that you are only yourself, no one else, Kakashi.”

_Not your father. Right?_

It felt like a sweetly spoken threat.

Kakashi nodded slowly, which seemed to be a good enough response.

“The mission is to retrieve Might Guy,” the Third reiterated with a strict, steely tone. He added, with some degree of sympathy, “Dead or alive, at your discretion.”

“Yes, sir.” He nodded again.

Kakashi wanted to add more, but the poignant silence weighed heavy on him.

* * *

 

_“For you, young Kakashi!” Duy’s voice rang out as Team Minato strapped on their bags and read over their mission statement, ready to leave the village for their long trip._

_Several heads turned towards Duy with varying degrees of poorly concealed curiosity. Kakashi was unfazed by the attention, his eyes dead-set on Duy’s dark ones and tuning out everyone else in the periphery. The genin beamed, giddiness seeping into his voice while he waited for Kakashi to accept the box he was offering to him._

_The wrapped box was practically bulging at the hinges. Maybe Kakashi could handle the mission by bribing the bandits with food?_

_“You’ll be away for a while!” Duy continued, with big, dramatic tears rolling down his cheeks. “You’ll be going on a perilous mission out of the village today, won’t you…! Food pills aren’t all that a growing boy needs! If you want to grow up big and tall—”_

_Obito snickered at that. Kakashi shot him a silencing glare._

_“—Then a healthy lunch filled with love is what you need!”_

_“…What is it?”_

_With a playful wink, Duy answered, “Your favorites! At least, I hope they are!”_

_Kakashi observed silently, lips curling upwards in a slight, imperceptible smile. What Kakashi denied Duy in flowery words, he made up for in glances and actions. Kakashi accepted the food._

_That was more than enough for Duy._ _His eyes sparked, and while admittedly, this was a common occurrence with him, it was always different when it was because of Kakashi, somehow._

_“What if you guessed it wrong?”_

_“If I did, then I’ll be here to welcome you back with whatever food you want, instead! Consider that a self-rule! Just make sure to return in one piece so you can enjoy it!” He offered Kakashi a confident thumbs up._

_A strange, not very subtle way of telling Kakashi to be careful out there. Kakashi put the lunchbox into his bag and walked past the village gates. His team trailed along behind him._

_When Team Minato returned, Kakashi informed Duy that he preferred saury over tilapia. Duy dragged both Kakashi and Guy along on a grand quest to catch the perfect fish to celebrate Kakashi’s successful mission._

* * *

 

Kakashi blinked and rubbed at his eyes angrily. He didn’t know why, but somehow that memory had evoked sudden tears. He brushed them away quickly and pushed those thoughts to the side.

He had a mission to do. The sooner this was over, the better.

The first thing he did was stop at the Guy’s house. It was out of the way, in the middle of the forest. A sick feeling of dread started to form in the pit of Kakashi’s stomach as he walked down the path to the Might family house.

On the ground in front of the door lay a familiar red cloth, folded in a crumpled mess like trash. Kakashi knelt down at the entrance to pick up the forgotten Leaf headband. It still had his scent. Guy must have come back to leave it here after his mission had gone awry.

Kakashi wondered if Hiruzen knew that Guy had thrown his away. Ebisu might have told him already. If his assumption that Guy had defected was based on that, it was admittedly more solid that Kakashi had wanted to give it credit for earlier.

More solid, but still flatly wrong. Guy was Guy. He was stupid, but not _that_ stupid. Emotional and short-sighted, maybe, but not a traitor.

Kakashi wasn’t sure if their house had locks on it at all, but it didn’t matter. The entrance was already ajar.

The door creaked, but finally opened as Kakashi took a cautious peek around the living room of the small shack, scanning the empty floor for any signs of life.

There weren’t any sets of shoes lined up next to the doorway. Usually, there would be two pairs, one big and one small, both strewn about haphazardly like they’d been tossed off in a hurry. Kakashi didn’t bother taking off his shoes as he stepped past the threshold into the empty house. He wouldn’t be here long. He just needed a clue for where to start looking.

The rooms were dark, eerily silent compared to every other time Kakashi had been there. This place was supposed to be so alive with noise that it gave Kakashi a headache. Noise like someone singing in the shower, someone yelling as they cut themselves on vegetables, someone snoring thunderously in their bed. Someone, usually Duy, sometimes Guy, often both at the same time.

The only sound was Kakashi’s footsteps echoing in the empty house. The wood planks under his feet creaked slightly as he made his way to the kitchen. That noise just reminded Kakashi of how shoddy it was compared to his own house. Duy had built this place by himself. Small, cheap, but carefully tended to, at least. No holes in the walls, no cracked windows, and a surprisingly clean house, aside from the scribbling on the walls.

The only mess that Kakashi expected and found was in pile of blankets and mats, but even then, there was only one set out. The other was folded up and stored against the wall, unused for a while. Before Guy had been getting so many long missions abroad, their mats and blankets could always be found piled up together in a big, ridiculous, warm nest in the middle of the floor.

The kitchen was part of the living room, really. A small refrigerator and freezer were next to the old-looking stove. Aside from those, the table was the only real furniture that they had in here.

On the stove, there was a pot with something rotten in it, and next to it, half-cut vegetables that had probably gone bad by now. It wasn’t like Duy to waste food. He couldn’t afford to.

Dinner at Guy's house was always a mix between a sanctuary and a tidal wave. Duy would be chopping vegetables and cleaning fish, humming loudly to himself, and Guy would suddenly burst through the door, tossing his things to the side and chattering about all the things he had accomplished that day, sometimes dragging a reluctant Kakashi behind him or shoving him in front of him.

He’d been here against his will enough times to know his way around this tiny house.

Slipping silently into Guy and Duy’s shared bedroom/living room, Kakashi pulled down his mask and breathed in. The uncooked food filled the apartment with the sickly, summery smell of overripe vegetables, and there was the lingering scent of Duy. Kakashi’s eyes scanned across the empty rooms, searching for any records, any clues as to Guy’s or Duy’s whereabouts. It proved fruitless.

Guy hadn’t stepped foot in this place for a while.

Kakashi didn’t expect to ever get to ask, but he wondered exactly how long it had been since Duy had died in the first place.

Since his mouth was already uncovered and one of his hands was already occupied, instead of reaching to pull out a kunai from his weapons pouch, Kakashi brought his thumb into his mouth and bit it, hard. The taste of blood still lingered on his teeth when he placed his hand on the floor, and a puff of smoke was replaced by a small, familiar pug.

“Hey, boss.” Pakkun sniffed and blinked at Kakashi. He greeted his master with a nuzzle-headbutt. “This is Duy’s house?”

Kakashi nodded as if he was right. Before saying, “No. Guy’s house.”

Pakkun was smart. He got the message almost immediately. “What do ya need me to do?”

“I need you to track him down.” Kakashi held out the headband. “This should be enough to get his scent. Everything else smells more like his dad than him.”

Knowing Guy, he probably tried to come back. Kakashi could imagine him stopping at the gate and just throwing his headband against the door in frustration. It was harder to imagine that Guy would give up and run away after that, but it was the only explanation he had.

Pakkun lifted a paw and patted his leg in a show of sympathy. Kakashi pet the dog’s back distractedly, eyes still focused on the hitai-ate in his hand. He only realized how tightly he was clutching it in his fist when Pakkun licked at Kakashi’s white-knuckled fingers.

“Something happen to him?”

Kakashi shook his head. “The same thing as always. He’s just being an idiot. Do you have the scent?” he asked impatiently. The ninken nodded, and Kakashi put the headband away in his pack.

Pakkun ran silently but quickly, and Kakashi trailed shortly behind him, winding through shadowy trees along a rough dirt road. Guy was fast and his stamina was impressive. He could travel pretty far in a matter of days, if he was motivated, but Kakashi doubted it was enough time to reach the Hidden Mist Village on his own. Kakashi hoped this wouldn’t be made into something that messy.

Now that he was taking time to think about it, Kakashi wasn't really surprised that Guy was missing. After all, Duy was dead. His self-proclaimed rival had always been impulsive, and he always was good at getting himself into trouble –as strange as it was, Duy had a large part of his impulse control.

Guy probably took Duy for granted. And why wouldn’t he? Duy was a still a genin, stationed at the village, not very likely to go anywhere, even in the middle of a war.

This was just Guy being Guy. Telling himself that, Kakashi found it very easy to hide his worry.

Guy was being dumb and impulsive out of the village, and soon he would go back to being dumb and impulsive back in the village, where he belonged. It honestly didn’t take long to get used to living without a father, as long as you knew how to make money and cook for yourself.

He was surprised, however, when Pakkun and Kakashi finally caught a glimpse of their target.

Guy was wearing all black. He didn’t even know Guy owned funeral garb, but here he was, no jumpsuit, no scarf, no legwarmers. Stars shimmered high above in the sky; their light mirrored in the young chunin’s eyes as he stared up, searching for answers to the questions that quickly came and left through his wandering mind. Almost a reflection of what Kakashi had looked like, when he was searching for answers he wouldn’t find.

From afar, the boy hardly looked like Guy at all. Kakashi drew back slightly into his hiding place.

Pakkun whined quietly at his side, understanding Kakashi without a word being said between them. “Need me to stick around to help with the pup?”

Kakashi shook his head. In response to Pakkun’s worried expression, Kakashi simply said, “It’s Guy. I’ve handled him before. This won’t take long.”

Pakkun raised an eyebrow inquisitively, but he relented. “Yeah. You can handle him. I know you can, Boss.” Pakkun vanished in a puff of smoke so Kakashi and Guy could be left alone.

As soon as Pakkun was gone, Kakashi realized, predictably, he didn’t have a plan on how to go about this. He suddenly found himself with the obligation to cheer up Guy. Alone.

 _Kakashi_ was supposed to cheer up _Guy_. Kakashi, who Genma referred to as the _genius killjoy_ , was supposed to cheer up the kid that somehow made turtles and training funny, and never failed to make Kakashi grin under his mask. Guy, the kid that made the best of every situation given to him, and was far better at making someone smile (along with a lot of other things) than Kakashi was willing to admit.

This was a tall order just for an A-rank mission.

* * *

 

_“How are D-rank missions still that much of a problem for you? You have years of experience.”_

_Duy stopped mid-wave and looked down at the young chunin. Kakashi hadn’t even been masking his presence. Duy was just bad at telling when he was being watched._

_The genin’s face was red and he was panting, covered in cat hair and trash and sweat and dirt from missions that were just glorified cat sitting jobs or lackey jobs. Jobs that were one step up from civilian work, if that. But he was grinning, a fierce, determined grin that he always seemed to wear. “Young Kakashi! I guess I need to train more! I’d gotten too used to having Guy along to do the missions with me! Remember this, you’re truly never too old to stop improving yourself!”_

_“Maa,” Kakashi sighed, pressing his temples. “If it was my dad, missions like that would be a breeze. I bet you’d die right away if you were off on an S-rank mission. If skill were the only factor, my dad would have had you beat any day…”_

_Duy laughed, and Kakashi peeked at him from the corner of his eye. Maybe he was laughing because Sakumo was gone, so he couldn’t beat anyone now. Maybe he was laughing because he just felt awkward, hearing Kakashi mention the man who he avoided in conversation most of the time. As unskilled as Duy was as a ninja in most regards, he really was impossible to get a proper read on. For all Kakashi knew, he was just laughing to be laughing._

_“You could surpass me yourself on an S-rank mission, Kakashi!” Duy finally said. “Take pride in your own strength and abilities as well! When Guy returns from his mission, I look forward to seeing the two of you go head-to-head again!”_

_A pair of chunin passing by whispered something to each other and didn’t hide their laughter at Duy’s boisterous nature. “Even Guy’s off on a C-rank mission right now. Isn’t it embarrassing?” Kakashi asked._

_Duy never missed a beat. “I could never be embarrassed to see you or Guy surpass me! The only thing a father can feel at a time like this is pride! Pure, unadulterated pride! I hope both of you grow up to be much older and much stronger than me, and make me even prouder every day!”_

_“How old_ are _you?” Kakashi asked bluntly._

_Despite the rude tone the boy took with him, Duy just laughed. Loudly. People already stared at him, that just made it worse. “Old enough to know better, I suppose!”_

* * *

 

“…Kakashi.” Guy called quietly. He might have heard a sigh, too. He looked up at Kakashi’s hiding spot and frowned. He looked uncomfortable, causing Kakashi’s eyes to narrow in interest. He always knew it was never that simple.

Guy was always better than Duy when it came to telling that he was being watched. There was no point in staying hidden now.

Kakashi leapt out of the shadows and greeted him with a simple, “Guy.”

Under Kakashi’s scrutinizing gaze, Guy didn’t even tense. Instead, he laughed, and it sounded real, but felt empty.  “Oh! Kakashi! How unexpected! What’s up? Here for a match? –Don’t think I’ve gotten dull since our last fight! I’ll take you on, anytime!”

That would be a simple way to handle this. Kick Guy’s butt, knock him out, drag him back to the village and be done with it. It was probably the only simple way to handle it, since Guy was involved. The mission didn’t require Kakashi to cheer Guy up, only to bring him back.

Better yet, he could simply call Guy’s bluff. Guy was obviously hoping Kakashi would turn him down and leave him alone.

“Sure. I’ll fight you.”

Guy’s eyes snapped up to his in distant surprise, a confused, uncertain laugh of embarrassment coming from his lips. “What—Really, Kakashi? You have time to spar a chunin like me? And in the middle of a war, too…” He stuttered out, flustered and shy, like he’d just been caught doing something as benign as trying to steal a cookie from a jar instead of trying to abandon his village in the middle of a war.

“All the more reason I have time. You’re barely a chunin. This will be quick. And when I’m done,” Kakashi shifted into a battle position. “I can take you back to Konoha myself.”

Guy quickly gave up on the bluff. He took a step back, an almost telegraphed attempt to run for it, and Kakashi grabbed him by the wrist. “Guy.”

Guy’s free hand passed over his eyes as he breathed out a short, shuttering breath. If there were any more words that he’d planned on saying, he held them back. Kakashi felt Guy’s fingers start to shake slightly in his own.

"Guy," Kakashi repeatedly sharply. "We’re heading back."

Guy finally looked at Kakashi, uncharacteristic tears dancing along the edge of his eyes. Crying was nothing new for Guy, but these weren’t his “manly” tears. His half smile fell to a quivering frown and his dark eyes dipped down to the ground. Guy had learned to bear life with a smile and a laugh, and maybe, just maybe, that was only making this worse now.

“I can’t.” Even his refusal was uncharacteristic. Not the refusal itself, but the way he said it, weak and unsure. “Not—not yet, at least.”

“It isn’t up to you. Guy, you’re a chunin now. You don’t need your dad to be here for you. Stop acting like a little kid.”

“We are kids!” Guy didn’t shout it. He pleaded it.

Kakashi pulled out the red hitai-ate from his pouch and held it out in front of him for Guy to see. Guy took a step back, wincing visibly at the sight of it. He had definitely meant to throw it away.

“They don’t give these to kids. We’re _shinobi_. Tools for our village. Right now, _you’re_ a deserter.”

Guy wrapped his arms around himself, shut his eyes, and shook his head; a defense mechanism. As if he was trying to curl into a ball or retreat like one of his tortoises, Guy shrunk away. If he thought he could outrun or outmaneuver Kakashi with a body flicker, he would have tried it now. The fact that he made no attempt at all was proof that he’d all but given up, a skill that Kakashi had assumed Guy didn’t possess. “He wouldn’t want you running away like this.”

“You don’t know that,” Guy said, and then, “We can’t know that. He’s not around for us to ask him that.”

“Throwing a tantrum doesn’t bring anyone back,” Kakashi tried. A more mocking approach might get some results. “All you’re doing is making a fool of yourself.”

Guy’s hands gripped his arms tighter, his knuckles turning white, but he still refused to say a thing to defend himself.

“Guy, your dad is dead. No one is going to take care of your or coddle you. Especially not me.”

 “—I don’t need you to!” he finally yelled, voice cracking.

Guy’s voice didn’t even sound like it was his. It threw Kakashi off.

It was strange. Guy wasn’t supposed to be vulnerable and uncertain like that. Kakashi had thought of him as weak for a long time, but he’d never had a weak _personality_ , that was certain.

Guy was quiet and withdrawn now, pacing steadily as he observed his rival. His gaze noted every twitch of his muscles; every nervous tick of his body. There was no mistaking his intentions –Guy sizing Kakashi up to weigh his chances of getting away if they had a serious fight.

The unease in the pit of Kakashi’s stomach became more prominent each moment the silent scrutiny stretched on. In the back of his mind he recalled the Third Hokage’s briefing. As lackluster as Guy used to be in the academy, he was actually good enough to make chunin now, however many gates he could use. He was stronger now.

Even knowing that there were several ways Kakashi could subdue him or knock him out –or kill him—hesitation weighed him down, half-lidded eyes following the other’s every move as he strained to keep his cool. His arms folded carefully across his chest, head canting just a mite, and Kakashi noticed that just that slight movement was enough to make Guy twitch and step away. “Guy, you’re…” Fumbling for the right words only made Guy more on edge, but neither of them backed down yet.

“Guy, we’re at war. It was one death,” Kakashi finally said in a cold, impassive tone. “There are going to be a lot more. If you can’t even handle that, you have no business being a shinobi at all.”

“How can you put it like that? Is that part of being a genius too? Papa was the most important person in the world to me…” Guy paused for a moment, mouth half-open. “You’re on a mission. That’s how you heard.”

A keen observation, one he almost wishes Guy hadn’t been able to make. But he was too smart for both of their goods, really, when it came down to it.

Guy closed his eyes and breathed out a shaky sigh. “Even if it’s for your mission, Kakashi, I don’t want to… I just can’t…”

“You shouldn’t be wasting anyone’s time if you’re going to break down at something like this. Not the leaf village’s, not your team’s, and especially not mine.” If he couldn’t pretend that he had come here as a concerned friend, Kakashi should solve this through force and authority alone. It wasn’t as if he _could_ have been here as a concerned friend, anyway. Guy hadn’t told him anything in the first place, about Duy or the seven swordsmen.

Guy let out a quiet sigh. “I know.” Any other time, Guy would be furious at that, screaming and jumping and challenging Kakashi to some fruitless fight to prove him wrong. But Guy was white to the lips and his hands were trembling just enough to see. “I know. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong there. That was why I was fighting so hard. Because my dad and I weren’t like everyone else. We were going to earn our places in the world.”

Kakashi made a point of letting out a much louder, more exasperated sigh. “A place in the world? Who would you earn something like that from?”

Guy paused for a while, then lapsed into another language, a tongue that Kakashi had only really heard from Guy and Duy, and occasionally from Sakumo. “I know that people don’t like me very much. I was never as good as Papa was at not caring about it.”

Guy spoke slowly and clearly. It wasn’t necessary. Kakashi had picked up the language well enough to respond to it by now. “People don’t like anyone very much for long. There’s no point in caring about them. It doesn’t help anybody.”

“You’re right, of course.” He sighed as he continued, looking tired and like he wanted Kakashi out of his hair more than anything, instead of the other way around for once.  “Like Papa was. I wish I was as smart as you two. I’m not. I still haven’t proved anything to Papa. He’s the only one who would miss me. He was my most precious person. And he’s dead because of me. I couldn’t protect my team, so he had to do it in my place. I couldn’t serve my village. And I never caught up to you. Papa will never know even if I do now. I can’t tell him if I win any more competitions. If I’m the reason Papa’s gone, then I…”

Guy removed his pouch and held it tightly in his hands. “He’s in here. What I could find of his ashes. So far.”

Kakashi felt his heart clenching with sympathy as he took in Guy’s expression.

It wasn’t even sad, just… defeated, like he’d given up hope a long time ago. Like he knew this was a fool’s errand and still decided it was the only thing worth doing. Kakashi had wanted that at some point too, didn’t he? Closure, in some form or another.

“I don’t have a grave or a body or anything. I thought… It’s stupid. It’s really, really stupid. You can laugh. Ebisu did. But my father’s the only one who really thought I could be anything. It’s a stupid idea, but it was a self-rule I set. If I can’t collect father’s ashes and bury them properly at home, then…”

Guy trailed off into silence, returning the pouch to its spot against his hip. Kakashi tried not to fill in the blank with whatever he would logically finish the sentence with. “You came all this way just to gather ashes? That’s it?”

“No one’s going to remember him at all soon. Papa was never working for recognition, so I shouldn’t be so angry about that, but I am. Papa rushed out and saved us from an ambush that I was too weak to handle myself, but they said that I can’t even talk about it! They won’t give him a grave or carve his name into that stone! Morale and diplomacy and all of that, I don’t get it, but Papa— Papa’s a hero! There’s nothing in the world that was worth him losing his life! Especially not me and my screwups! Papa was a hero, and now he’s gone, and why can’t I do anything or say anything about either one of those things?!” he said, choking on the words.

“Because you were ordered not to talk about it.”

He wasn’t sure it was the right thing to say. Kakashi was awful at this whole comforting thing. But it was the truth.

He always hated it when he was a kid, how people would look at him —a pitiful orphaned brat, son of a failure with nobody else in the world.

And he knew Guy hated the feeling of being pitied. He shouldn’t need or want anyone to coddle him, to tell him everything was going to be okay when it clearly wasn't. For once, Kakashi would respect Guy’s intelligence enough to expect more from him than that.

Sakumo’s own death had been covered up. It was strange, the transitions from the praise everyone gave the heroic White Fang, to the sneers the village threw at that same man, to the rumors that something terrible had happened in the little Hatake clan, to the much less natural but more quickly accepted rumors that Sakumo had died heroically in battle and all ninja should be prepared to follow his example for the war if they need to for the village.

Duy actually had died heroically, thinking of his son to the very end.

But for him, there was no grave, because there was no body, no prestige to his name. Nothing to bury, not even ashes or flower petals.  Nothing, in the end, but the wind.

He wouldn’t even get his name carved into the monument, much less any damage control that the village would need to pass around in the form of rumors to keep moral up. Either people wouldn’t notice Duy was gone, or they would just laugh even more when they heard he was. They would come up with their own rumors.

Duy had always extended a hand and let Kakashi decide whether he wanted to take it, in his own time. Perhaps it was Kakashi’s turn to return the favor. Kakashi reached out his hand, and Guy drew back reflexively, holding his arms up in defense.

“You’re right. As always, you’re right, Kakashi. I was given that order, wasn’t I… Like I said,” Guy finally returned to Konoha’s language and took up his fighting stance. It didn’t look like he was bluffing this time. “I’ll fight you. Show me that no amount of hard work will ever beat any challenge or ever change anyone’s mind after all, show that Papa died protecting someone who was absolutely worthless.”

Guy’s stance was shaky and off, but Kakashi could see Guy’s conviction in the set of his shoulders; he remembered when Guy had stood in front of a mirror and practiced speeches and poses, night after night, until Guy had lost the nervous crouch and the stutter he used to have. He could hear the old inflection in Guy’s voice, the one that meant tears and weakness and _I don’t really think I can do this at all._

The little boy with a really round face and hair a little too long who tried way too hard was back, and challenging him to a losing fight to prove absolutely nothing.

“Fine. It’s a challenge then. Here’s the rule. When I kick your butt, you shut up and return to the village and focus on your missions like a good shinobi should. Like a tool to his Hokage is supposed to act. Like someone who doesn’t act so self-important that he thinks he gets to decide when he lives or dies or when anyone else lives or dies. And if you win, you get a point.”

The appeal to his pride seemed to work. Guy dropped his protests, although he looked like he wanted to say more. Kakashi still watched him carefully, and he had long since recognized the look he got when he was thinking of a strategy.

The fight began.

* * *

 

_“So, it was you.”_

_Duy glanced up, greeting the last living Hatake with a cheerful smile. “Young Kakashi! My apologies, I’ll be done here shortly!” Kakashi was almost surprised to see the genin’s demeanor change briefly before he returned his attention to cleaning off Sakumo’s grave. It still regularly ended up defaced with graffiti or trash, even now that the old rumors were being replaced with new, artificial ones._

Hate takes a while to die _, Duy had said once, in one of his more philosophical moments._

_Kakashi had expected that much. He hadn’t expected this guy to come and regularly wash and tend to the grave._

_Kakashi didn’t need to ask why he bothered with it. He could guess, and even if he couldn’t, he didn’t care much about that. But the way Duy reverently placed a single flower on the cold stone and stood up, looking proud of himself and proud of the flower that he had to have bought from the Yamanaka shop, made Kakashi furious._

_“There! I’m finished!”_ _Still kneeling on the ground, he turned to face Kakashi. “I don’t run into you here often, young Kakashi! I’ll be out of your way shortly!”_

_“You’re wasting your money buying flowers for the White Fang’s grave. You’re wasting your time being here at all. You don’t have much of either.”_

_Duy rolled his shoulders and stretched as he stood back up. “Well, I have my reasons!”_

_“Everyone has their reasons,”_ _Kakashi said in a bitter attempt at apathy._

_A silence hung between the two of them while they simply stared at Sakumo’s grave for a while._

_Duy was the one to finally break the silence. “…You know, young Kakashi! When I look at you, and at Guy, and at you and Guy together, I can remember the precious treasures that were my own youth. Sakumo felt the same way. I’m sure, without a doubt, that he is as grateful to you as I am. Youthfulness can sometimes be rough and vicious. But the emotions you feel now and the emotions you felt then will eventually become a precious treasure. You might not understand this now, but… Any father would be proud to call you his son! Anyone can see the wonderful heart you have! There’s no way you weren’t good enough, ever, for anything, for anyone, especially not Sakumo! I knew him well, and he thought the world of you!”_

_Duy clapped a hand affectionately on Kakashi’s shoulder, laughing, ignoring the frown beneath disheveled silver bangs._

_“Something that’s youthful in every respect, something you shouldn’t touch just from the sense of nostalgia. When life takes something away, the feeling of how important it is to cherish everything –the past, the future, the present— feels strong enough to make you feel like there’s nothing left but darkness. But the reason life goes on and youth goes on is because it is still our time to continue shining youthfully!”_

_Night had already fallen by now, and somewhere in Kakashi’s mind, he thought it was impressive that Duy could make his smile shine in the moonlight as easily as he could in the sunlight._

_“…Sometimes, you can be pretty amazing, Duy,” Kakashi said quietly._

_The matter of fact way in which he said it seemed to take Duy aback. He looked around, flustered, fake-coughing and trying to get his words together. “What? Me! Ha! You’re way more amazing then me, Kakashi! You’re young and full of hope! You’re shining brilliantly! Like a star—a ninja star! Your future is bright! I’m always hearing about your latest exploits from my beloved Guy!” A thumbs up and a blinding grin._

_Kakashi chuckled and shook his head, walking away and muttering quietly, “That’s not what I meant.”_

* * *

 

None of their matches had ever been as untamed or desperate as this.

They both rushed in at the same time, trading blows back and forth. It was an all-out brawl, no holds barred. They fought, quick and brutal, moving in constant circles, using the entire clearing to try and gain some advantage.

Guy leapt forward and tackled Kakashi, putting his whole body into it and managing to knock him off his feet.

The weight of Guy on top of Kakashi left him pinned with nowhere to move. “I’m all alone now! Papa won’t be there when I come home ever again!” Guy started, like he was trying to make a case for himself again. He was panting already, unsubtle, uneven huffs of breath, wasting so much energy being sloppy and emotional.

The way Guy let his emotions get the better of him like this, it might as well have been him who died against the Mist shinobi anyway.

“It should have just been me instead.”

The whisper fell off his lips and onto Kakashi’s, cutting the conflicting feelings he was battling seconds ago in two. “You’re an idiot.” With a grunt, Kakashi rammed the older boy off of him and knocked him back, and all Guy could do was roll away clumsily. “Of course, he won’t be there. He’s dead.”

Guy rolled back onto his feet, still shaky and unfocused. “Then I can’t go. Everybody knows I’m a joke too, and Papa’s not here to cheer me on for real! They’ll just laugh at me!”

Kakashi knew he should just be focusing on the fight and not trying to have a debate with Guy right now, but Guy’s defeatist attitude was infuriating. He didn’t sound like himself or like Duy. He sounded like Sakumo.

Guy tried to make a case for himself again, but Kakashi landed a blow right in his gut, and Guy felt most of the breath leave his lungs. He remained standing, but it took a moment for the shock to wear off.

“They were always laughing at _both_ of you anyway, this whole time.”

Kakashi side stepped back, avoiding Guy’s punch. Kakashi countered with a flurry of quick jabs, and now that he was more alert, Guy managed to dodge them for the most part. He spun and ducked down into a low kick, trying to sweep Kakashi off his feet.

Kakashi managed to leap over it, but Guy had apparently accounted for that. The green beast –currently wearing all black –aimed an uppercut at Kakashi’s jaw. Kakashi barely managed to weave out of the way.

Before Kakashi could properly get his footing back and withdraw, Guy wrapped his arm around Kakashi’s and twisted it back into an arm lock.

“I’m right back where I started! I’m just me!” Guy said.

“That’s all you ever were.”

Guy was probably about to whine more, so Kakashi whipped his foot back and hooked it around Guy’s ankle. He pulled with enough momentum to knock Guy off his balance.

Guy let go of Kakashi’s arm, and instead, pressed his arm up so it was under Kakashi’s arm pit in a grapple he couldn’t quite shake. Both went to the ground, the lock breaking between the two as they fell feet apart.

Guy’s jaw stiffened and eyes burned, as if a blaze lit to life in him chest. The energy he had thought spent, now returned to him in a fury. No more mumbling or whining. Now, he was back to yelling. “Kakashi, if you’re just here to agree with everything I say for once, then you should just—”

“I should what? Leave? Are you going to make me? You’re a joke that’s all by yourself, and you think you can give me orders now?”

Kakashi was the first to recover his momentum. Still on the ground, he rolled toward Guy, raising a foot and bringing it down in an axe kick. Guy managed to roll out of the way, but Kakashi used the momentum of the roll to get back onto his feet. He spun, raising another foot in the air to bring down on Guy, who was only just beginning to kneel.

Guy blocked the hit by crossing his arms and pressing forward so he connected with his ankle rather than his foot, but this time the force shook him.

“Kakashi, why are you here?”

His lips were a tight, thin, neutral line, his heart heavy— he didn’t know if it was from the tension of the situation, or the question at hand. “I came here to get Might Guy back. I have to find him first. That’s why I’m here.”

In that moment, Guy let himself fall back, and Kakashi almost thought that Guy was outright throwing the match.

He wasn’t.

Guy capitalized on Kakashi’s momentum by grabbing him by the leg. Both toppled over each other as they twisted, wrestling and grappling at each other, as the world spun around them at a disorientating speed.

Determination took physical form in this kid. Even in the face of defeat, he rose out of it by pure will and summoned strength from nowhere. It was immediately obvious what Hiruzen meant when he called Guy’s “type” a useful ally or a dangerous enemy.

Soon, Kakashi’s back hit the ground. Guy had finally come out on top, crouched over Kakashi, one knee in the dirt, while the other foot was propped against the floor on the other side of Kakashi’s chest, effectively pinning him. His elbow was hovering over Kakashi’s throat. Both were panting heavily, as a trail of sweat was working its way down Guy’s forehead. Forgetting himself for a second, Guy grinned, breathing mixed with a little laugh. “I win. I won. I beat you, Kakashi.”

An equally playful grin grew across Kakashi’s face, as he tapped Guy's neck with an outstretched hand of his own. If both hadn’t held back, both would have delivered blows that would have at least staggered the other if not knocked them out of fighting condition altogether.

“A… tie then…?” Guy panted out. His grin fell, and he apparently remembered that he didn’t know if he wanted to win the fight or not.

Kakashi shook his head. “No. You had the clearer shot. You win. The score’s 2-10 now, Guy.”

“I win. I won. Then, I…” Guy sighed out a shaky breath and climbed off of Kakashi. “I don’t have to do what you say.”

“No.” Kakashi sat up and shrugged. “You can keep being a rogue and stay out here all by yourself until someone else comes to kill you.”

Guy crossed his arms. Past whining and crying, now he was _pouting_. “Fine by me.”

Kakashi scoffed. With these attitudes, one would think that Kakashi was the one who just won the spar. “Where do you think you can go? The village hidden in the mist? Or Duy’s homeland, wherever that is? How far do you think you keep running by yourself?”

Guy shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m not used to having to decide something like that alone. But if I can at least gather the pieces of Papa, then maybe—”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Kakashi interrupted. “Having the body or not. It doesn’t help.”

“It’ll help me not feel like I’m alone,” Guy mumbled.

No, it wouldn’t. It was a moot point to argue, though. “You _are_ alone. If you ever go back, you’re going to go home to a house that’s empty, lifeless, and cold. You’re dorky, and loud, and not suited for this at all, you never were. Everyone’s going to keep saying that, and they’ll keep laughing, behind your back and in your face, _at_ you, not _with_ you. You’ve always been an idiot, but you’ve never been _this_ clueless.”

The words jolted Guy back to reality, but it also scared him enough that the tears that had been welling up actually rolled down his face now. All he could muster was a quiet “I know that.”

“No, you don’t. You wouldn’t be acting like this if you knew anything. Duy believed in you, and he’s gone. The White Fang believed you’d be something someday, and he’s gone too. So what? That’s it? Two times is all it takes for you to quit? Is that what they taught you?”

“But they were the _only_ ones who thought I’d be anything!” Guy argued, almost whining again. “And I let them down. I don’t have anyone to prove anything to anymore. I’m not anything anymore now.”

“ _I_ know you’re going to be something someday,” Kakashi’s voice edged higher. He must have sounded really desperate, because Guy actually looked surprised for a split second. It must have been satisfying for him, seeing the prideful Kakashi that had been stringing him along this far so rattled, but Kakashi didn't have the energy to be bitter about it. There were more important things at stake. “And _I’m_ not an idiot. You’re the same stubborn, loud, nosy kid I’ve always known, and I didn’t think anything of you when my dad said you’d be better than me or even when Duy said it. But I know you now, Guy. I’m saying this on my own. If you pick yourself up and stop wallowing in your own self pity because you want to be content staying a failure, then you’re going to be something. I train so hard because I know you’re catching up. I can’t slack off because I don’t want you to beat me. I’m as strong as I am because you push me with your stupid challenges.”

Guy’s narrowed, puffy eyes were accompanied by a suspicious cock of the head. “I barely have two points.”

Kakashi shot him a withering look. He really didn't want to sit here and relay a bunch of meaningless mush to Guy. Still, it wasn't like he had much of a choice. What did he have to lose at this point? Aside from Guy’s life, if this still didn’t work. “If I planned to give up on you, I wouldn’t be having this talk at all. I’d just get rid of you.”

Guy cut him off yet again, holding his arms up in a halting gesture. “Is that your real mission?”

Kakashi bit back the urge to snap at him. Starting another argument right here was sure to waste more time. “I’m not going to hunt you down. You are not nothing.” The next words were pulled from between his teeth. “You’re my rival.”

Guy tilted his head. Kakashi almost suspected he was just out to make things more difficult for him, but the chunin’s expression remained steely— even interested. Guy’s mouth pressed into a thin line, no hint of a smile to be found. He still looked like he was considering Kakashi’s words, rolling them over in his mouth and tasting them. Guy’s hands clenched into fists.

Then, silently, Guy reached into the pouch strapped to his side. His expression was stern, his fists were tight, and his mind was made up. Guy finally unfurled his hands, palms up, and the winds scattered the ashes into the sky. “Papa always liked you, Kakashi. He would probably say something a little like that.”

“We don’t know what he’d say. He’s not here for us to ask him anymore,” Kakashi mused lowly.

Guy smiled. “He’d want me to be happy and keep trying my best.” Tears streamed down Guy’s face as he still held out his hands, as if expecting a hug from his father for trying so hard. “He’d want me to be a real ninja and not a little kid.”

Kakashi had never seen Guy cry like this; Guy had never let him see him like this before. But right now, there were tears slipping out of the corner of his eyes, small and genuine and not streaming ridiculously down his cheeks. There was a wet, shuddery exhale as Guy tried to pull himself back together, and failed.

Kakashi hardly knew what to say to comfort him. Kakashi had lost his own father years ago, and he hadn’t taken it well enough to give out any advice on how to handle it. He didn’t even know what he would have wanted someone else to say or do for him at the time.

But Guy had been there for him, doing something. Being annoying.

And Duy had been there. Being overbearing.

The words were there, on the tip of his tongue, but Kakashi bit them back, shoved them down his throat again. He wasn’t sure what he needed to say to Guy, when he was at his most vulnerable. It felt like there was a lot at stake if he messed up.

Instead of saying anything, Kakashi silently slipped into the space behind Guy to envelope Guy in a hug from behind. In all the years they’d known each other, it was the first and only time Kakashi had initiated a hug. For the first time ever, Kakashi was strong enough to hug him, to just wrap him up and be his source of comfort. “…I’m sorry. I came back to get you. Guy, we need to go back.” His tone was firm but his hold was gentle, and he hoped that it conveyed all the things that Duy was so much better at saying than he was.

He felt Guy tremble in his arms, and for a second, Kakashi actually expected him to make good on his threat to start a fight again. Instead, Guy started to sob. He felt Guy’s tears dripping on his arms, heard his shaky voice and his ragged breath.

Kakashi wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, with Guy wrapped up on his arms, but it felt uncomfortably close to forever. When Guy finally shifted to pull away, Kakashi let him, and his arms felt strangely empty when he did.

"Sorry," Guy said thickly. His eyes were red, and his voice still shook. Kakashi wondered if he was supposed to pull him back into a hug. He decided against it.

"Stop apologizing," Kakashi admonished instead.

Guy scrubbed at his face with his arm, leaving his cheeks even redder, but managing to stop his tears. "Right," he says, then cheers, more confidently, "Right!"

Kakashi searched his heart to find some small amount of tact. "You shouldn’t get so hung up on this. It’s like you always say, right? You’ll just keep training to get stronger. So that one day, you’ll be the coolest shinobi around too… or something. I guess you already are, by default now, since Duy is… Uh….”

Somehow, it was apparently the right thing to say. Guy’s smile was watery and wobbly, but it was genuine. "Thank you, Kakashi," he said, and when Guy reached out for his hand, Kakashi reached back to take it.

Kakashi got a running start through the woods, back to Konoha, and led Guy through the main gate, to the Hokage’s office. All in silence, holding hands.

Kakashi looked down at Guy once they stopped, and he didn’t need to say anything.

Guy nodded.

* * *

 

_“Kakashi! You don’t look so hot! Well, I mean, you look like you’re burning up, but not so…hot?” Duy laughed to himself. What an awful dad joke. “How are you feeling?”_

_“Fine.”_

_“Oh! Well, glad to hear that! Would you like—”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_Duy’s concern was unwarranted._

_Kakashi liked to think he could take care of himself in every situation that would demand it of him. He cooked for himself, cleaned for himself, caught his own food and earned his own money. He could handle himself._

_The flu shouldn’t be any exception._

_At least, that was how he felt. He managed to drag himself all the way back home without passing out._

_He made his way into his bedroom, pulled off his uniform and was left with boxers, a mask, and a light T-shirt._

_Sleep, he needed to sleep. But he felt too sick. Everything hurt and ached, and the room was still spinning. Kakashi felt hot. He felt cold. Shivering, sweating._

_He moved through his bedroom towards the bathroom, dimming the lights as he went. He was just through the door when he felt a wave of dizziness pass over him and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor._

_It was getting hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to distinguish between sight and sound._

_Then, the world went dark._

_When Kakashi woke up, his head was engulfed in a deep mist, limbs heavier than solid oak tree trunks. A mix of buzzing pain and a lightheaded sensation washed through his system, back and forth like waves._

_His senses registered someone next to him, and he finally opened his eyes. There he saw Duy, carefully placing a tray of food on the bedside table._

_He blinked and rolled over, strangely unsurprised to see him there. “You’re trespassing,” Kakashi grumbled, squinting. A damp cloth slid off of his forehead and onto the ground._

_Duy offered a light smile as he gently placed the tray on the bed next to Kakashi, who slowly adjusted himself to a sitting position. Duy, being Duy, pretended not to notice how much Kakashi had to struggle._

_“Ah, young Kakashi! I’m sorry to wake you!” Duy replaced the fallen cloth with a new one. It felt cool against Kakashi’s skin._

_“You’re trespassing,” Kakashi mumbled again. Now he knew where Guy got it from._

_“Hold that thought!” Duy took off his bandana and retied it around his eyes as a blindfold. “There we go! Okay, young Kakashi, are you feeling up to taking some medicine?”_

_Kakashi took the painkillers, with slight difficultly, drank and ate, while Duy did his best to supervise and help without taking off the blindfold. Duy took the mask thing more seriously than Kakashi did, sometimes. He probably assumed there was something huge he was hiding. “You’re trespassing,” Kakashi said one more time, pulling his mask back into place, muffling his voice to make it clear to Duy that the mask was back up._

_Duy pulled the bandana down from his eyes back to his neck and flashed Kakashi a bright grin. “Sometimes, it’s okay to accept help from someone, as long as you trust them. Even if they are weaker than you.” Another one of his dramatic platitudes._

_Kakashi flopped back down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling, letting himself sink into the large, soft bed. “How would you know? No one’s weaker than you. Not even Guy.”_

_“Well, you’ve got me there!” Duy laughed and settled in the spot beside Kakashi atop of the covers. The latter of the two was wrapped in several blankets, but it didn’t seem to fend off the onslaught of shivers. “Cold, Kakashi?”_

_Kakashi paused, as if he hadn’t noticed that he’d been shivering so badly. A sheepish blush covered his face as he reluctantly nodded. He told himself that it didn’t matter what Duy saw. People would believe Duy even less than they would believe Guy, he couldn’t hold any blackmail over his head. And Duy couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag._

_Duy scooted closer, opening up his arms for Kakashi to rest on him. He apparently didn’t want Kakashi to move too much. “Let me help you warm up! I’ve been told I’m pretty hot-blooded!”_

_That seemed to ease Kakashi’s reluctance, somehow. Kakashi sighed, but visibly relaxed as he shuffled closer. As Kakashi nestled into the genin’s chest, Duy moved his hand to softly run through the tufts atop Kakashi’s head._

_The two fell into comfortable silence. Kakashi felt oddly contented, the paternal gesture seeming natural to Duy. He drifted back off into sleep._

* * *

 

“He got lost on the path back to the village, so he was running late.” Kakashi lied. “That’s all it was.”

Guy kept his head down timidly, still holding tightly to Kakashi’s hand. They could both feel Hiruzen’s sharp eyes bore into their skull.

“Ah. Is that so?” Seeming to sense Guy’s sudden docility towards him, Hiruzen continued without waiting for an answer, likely to lift the tension rather than because he actually believed that half-assed excused. “Might Guy.”

Being addressed directly by the Hokage was enough to make both boys tense. Kakashi could feel the dread in Guy’s pulse rate, the strength of his grip. Still following Kakashi’s silent order not to say a word, Guy just nodded and looked Lord Hiruzen straight in the eyes. It was obvious to both boys that he didn’t buy a story as flimsy as that.

But Hiruzen simply placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled warmly, calming Guy with a quiet, “We are glad to have you back. You are a valuable asset for your village. We need you. Never doubt that.”

Guy’s eyes widened, and Kakashi could practically see the moment he decided that he was ready to die for this village the same way Duy had died for him. It happened the same moment Guy let go of Kakashi’s hand. Lord Hiruzen was good with reading people and saying what he needed to say.

Tears brimmed in Guy’s eyes and before Kakashi could tell him not to, Guy had let go of his hands and thrown both his arms around the third Hokage in what Kakashi would almost call a hug. Guy’s face was buried into his chest, slightly shaking as tears still rolled down his cheeks. “Lord Third, I won’t let you down!”

Hiruzen smiled, holding Guy close with a fatherly sort of tenderness. “I know.”

A downpour of tears wetted Guy’s cheeks and Lord Third’s cloak, sobs and broken apologies against his shoulder while strong arms clung warmly to him. For someone who brazenly ordered Guy’s death before, Hiruzen seemed good at this, the way he smoothed over Guy’s hair and made Guy look so comfortable easing into the embrace.

There wouldn’t be any question about whether or not Guy would be able to find something to be loyal to in the village, even with Duy gone.

The mission debriefing was short after that had concluded. Guy was dismissed first, and he left the room in a flurry of tears and promises to do better and be better and show the world that he was still going to be the strongest around.

“You handled that admirably,” Hiruzen said, once Guy was out of earshot.

Kakashi bowed respectfully. “Of course. I hardly had to handle anything except showing him the way back.”

Hiruzen nodded; this was an acceptable half-truth. “You look a bit tired.”

Tired was an understatement. “I think that’s just my face, sir.”

Kakashi accepted his payment for the mission, and the words of praise, “Kakashi, you did well. I was right to entrust this task to you.”

“Thank you, Lord Third.”

* * *

 

_“We’re making your favorites!!” Duy singsonged across the room as soon as he heard the door slide open, knowing it's Kakashi before he saw him. A delicious smell greeted Kakashi, followed by waves from Duy and Guy in matching aprons._

_“Rival! You came! You came, you came! Happy Birthday!”_

_Duy, swept up in the glamour of a busy kitchen and the excitement that came from his son whenever their rivalry was involved, giggled as stirred his bowl. His smile was perfect._

_“I’m happy we were able to convince you to spend the occasion with us, Kakashi! Celebrations are best in a group! And your life is more than enough cause for celebration!”_

_Kakashi deposited a ninja tortoise on the counter — “Why would you send a tortoise to bug someone?” he’d asked at the time, extremely annoyed— before settling into his favorite pillow at the far end of the table. At his question, Duy laughed and Guy launched into a full-scale speech, the oversized serving spoon he was holding in his hand punctuating the story, about how amazing his turtle was and how his summon was eager to get the job done. “And he did manage to bring you here after all, so that just proves it,” he finished with a final dramatic poke of his spoon into the air. Duy finally confiscated the spoon and wiped the mess off of Guy’s face._

_This bubbly boy with the frown that melted so quickly away bore almost no resemblance to the pessimistic boy of a few months prior. Duy spoke at length about how his heart swelled and ached, just for a moment, at the sharp contrast and growth in both boys. Kakashi was sure he hadn’t changed at all._

_It was a good twenty minutes into the meal before they asked him about his mission. They already knew he had succeeded with flying colors of course, not because he always succeeded, but just from the straight line of his shoulders, the quiet contentedness in his speech. He made Duy laugh as he described the weird people that he had been in charge of escorting today, and all the ways Obito messed up to make a simple mission take forever. Kakashi ate a lot, since Duy was admittedly a good cook, but he hadn’t eaten nearly as much as Guy and Duy, which they both bemoaned later._

_Duy suggested that next time, they turn it into a competition. That way, everyone would eat their fill and more._

* * *

 

 “If you can’t go back to your house, you can just stay at mine. There’s room.” Kakashi called.

Guy turned around in surprise. “Kakashi! Your mission debriefing’s all done! You’re fast! Hm…” He pretended to consider the offer, even though Kakashi already knew he would turn it down. “I truly, deeply appreciate that you would offer, Kakashi! It’s the embodiment of kindness! The pinnacle of youth!” Guy did a quick, apologetic bow, and his hair whipping around wildly. “It’s regretful that I have to decline!”

A weight settled in Kakashi’s gut when he saw how hard Guy was trying to look like he was alright. That speech pattern was Duy’s. And that smile— it looked wrong on him, so forced and unhappy. Did his smile always look like that? Kakashi felt a bit of shame settle in his stomach at the realization that he’d never paid enough attention before to tell.

“I need to go home. I’ve run away from it long enough. If I can’t even face an empty house, what business did I ever have trying to face the world, right? Papa isn’t here to scold me anymore. I have to keep myself in line from here on out! For this village, and for Lord Hokage, who believes in me! I still have a lot left to lose, so I still have a lot left to protect! I have to learn how to do that all by myself! That’s what Papa would say, I’m sure!”

Kakashi frowned. He didn’t agree that that was what Duy would say. He figured Duy would say the opposite, tell Guy to lean on others and learn to value his own life and his own worth before putting a price on it.

But then again, he couldn’t argue that he knew Duy better than Guy. Even if there was a period of time where Guy was outright embarrassed of Duy –because honestly, so was Kakashi, for a while.

“Besides,” Guy continued. “It’s not the seven swords of the mist. It’s just a house. My house.” He grinned a cheesy fake-grin. “Maybe I’m strong enough to face this hurdle, if nothing else, for now! I know for sure that if Papa was here, he would want me to clean the house and water the plants!”

He vanished into wisps of smoke and darkness, leaving the conversation half-finished.

His body flicker technique was getting better. He had it down almost as well as Kakashi did now.

That was it, then.

Mission accomplished. Guy was back. His loyalties were confirmed.

Kakashi started on his way back to the Hatake residence.

* * *

 

_“Now, where could my favorite ninja have run off to?” Duy called._

_Little hands remained clasped around Guy’s mouth to drown out the giggles that might give his otherwise perfect hiding spot away. The genin’s playful words only made Guy giddier as he scooted a little further into the underbrush, just under the leaves of his bush. Aside from his giggling, there was only one thing that could have possibly given him away to make this game of hide-and-seek end prematurely._

_Sitting on the branch on a nearby tree, Kakashi idly turned the page in the book he was pretending to be rereading._

_“I’m going to find you, Guy!”_

_They were playing around in public again. People were already gawking and whispering._

_While Duy was busily searching high and low, Kakashi whistled to catch his attention. He blinked up at Kakashi with a confused glance, head tilting to one side. Kakashi pointed to the shrub Guy was hiding under, earning a grateful grin from Duy as he loudly announced, “Well, now, where-oh-where could my little Guy have run off to? Around here, perhaps? Here? Or maybe…”_

_Guy’s giggles couldn’t be held back much longer, especially when Duy plopped himself down right next to the boy._

_Sitting on his bum, he beamed over at the young child, “That was a good hiding spot, Guy! But I’ve found you now!”_

_“Aw! No fair!” Guy whined playfully, though the smile didn’t vanish as he rolled onto Duy’s lap, quite dramatically. “How did you find me, Papa?”_

_“A little birdie told me? No, a little scarecrow, I suppose…”_

_Kakashi cracked a smile and closed his book. It was too noisy to read here anymore._

* * *

 

Kakashi wasn’t sure what drove him to turn around and run to Guy’s house.

Kakashi wasn’t sure how he ended up here, perched on Guy’s windowsill because his door wouldn’t open, looking down at a boy with jet black hair in jet black clothes that was practically camouflaged in darkness.

Apparently, Guy didn’t know how he ended up there either. He seemed just as confused, if not more so.

“Ka…” Guy glanced up to look out the window at Kakashi. It wasn’t long before he was trying to smile and pick up that same excited tone he had when they first met. He spoke much softer now. Guy’s cheeks were glistening, and he tried to hide it by scrubbing away the tears, but it was too late. Kakashi had seen everything. “Kakashi! What a surprise!” His voice was brittle, his jaw clenched to the point it looked painful.

Kakashi leapt down and landed next to Guy. That forced-happy attitude was so annoying.

If Duy was here right now, he would knock some sense into Guy. Unfortunately for both of them, Kakashi would have to do.

Guy’s eyes were red and puffy from crying, and he sniffled, “Kakashi? Did Lord Third send you back?”

Kakashi suddenly realized that on the whole way here, he had forgotten to create some sort of excuse for coming back. Something to save face for Kakashi, and to get Guy to swallow his pride and not be left alone to wallow in his misery.

Kakashi considered telling a joke to lighten the mood, but when he opened his mouth to speak, he realized he actually wasn’t particularly good at humor that wasn’t outright mocking. He did find his voice eventually, thankfully: “…Duy was pretty important to me as well. I don’t think I want to be alone tonight,” he said. It wasn’t a lie, but it was also a clear excuse not to leave Guy alone.

Guy would never accept the pity for himself if he had the chance, but he seemed to pride himself on his need to be there for Kakashi when Kakashi needed him –despite the fact that Kakashi would swear he never did.

Much to Kakashi’s surprise, Guy seemed to appreciate the false pretense. He scooted closer, wiping away a tear and looking up at him with eyes full of trust. Kakashi blinked, taken aback in his odd state of panic mixed with the desire to live up to his expectations of himself.

"Sure, Kakashi. Do you want to stay the night here?" There was hopefulness in his voice, and Guy tried for a reassuring smile, as if Kakashi was the one who had just lost a father. “You can sleep in my spot. I’ll take Papa’s. Are you going to be okay?”

Kakashi found himself grasping for words that would simultaneously prolong this and cut it short. “I…”

Guy let out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. “It’s hard, huh? I never realized how good Papa was at filling the silence and finding all the right words to say.”

He had to agree. Duy was odd like that. He was annoying, and goofy, and not suited for the job of shinobi, but he was more than that. His presence had filled some sort of void in Kakashi’s heart, and for the first time since Sakumo’s death, Kakashi had felt calm, happy, and completely at peace.

There were countless times Duy went out of his way to bug Kakashi in a fatherly way. At the time, Kakashi had thought of it as annoyances, even when part of him appreciated it.

Now that he was gone, all that was left was emptiness; a dull ache in Kakashi’s chest. A larger part of him appreciated Duy’s presence than he thought.

And Guy, too. He felt that emptiness this whole time. Kakashi suddenly found it much easier to come up with words. "I know how you feel.” He was the only one who did. They were probably the only two people in the entire world who would realize what a loss Duy’s death was. It wasn’t a condolence or pity. It was a hushed statement of a fact.

"You do?"

"I think…I do…" Kakashi breathed a sigh, relaxing a little.

"You promise?" Guy spoke softly, his grip on Kakashi slightly tightening.

Kakashi nodded.

It seemed to be enough for Guy. Kakashi nearly fell over when Guy suddenly hugged him fiercely, his tears gone. "Thank you, Kakashi." This was all he had, and he was going to cherish it.

Kakashi gave him his warmest smile, feeling his fear about not being good enough melt right off his heart.

Guy’s mouth twitched, and he almost frowned. He clutched the cloth of Kakashi’s shirt and said quietly, “Since you understand… Do you think that if I was stronger, I could have protected what was precious to me like I was supposed to…?”

Kakashi shook his head. “It’s just that Duy was the one strong enough to protect something. You have time to get stronger as long as you don’t run off and die too.”

Guy made a face like he had to think that over. He was a surprisingly good liar, after all, and it was in his nature to evade negative things. But Kakashi’s quiet, direct advice apparently prompted an equally honest answer before he could think of a lie. “I won’t,” Guy answered honestly. “Not for a while. I can’t open all 8 yet. So, until then, I can’t.”

He might have been a little too honest.

“Well, when that time comes, don’t expect me to go rogue trying to gather up your ashes,” Kakashi said, half-joking and half-spiteful.

Guy snorted out a laugh, and this one almost sounded genuine. “I know! It really was silly! Ebisu was right all along! I’ll be sure to let him know!”

Kakashi rolled his eyes. “What about Genma and Choza?”

“I still haven’t seen Choza-sensei in a while. He’s really busy with InoShikaCho stuff. That’s why the three of us were on our own without him when we ran into—well, you know.” Guy grinned. “Genma’s nice, though. And really cool. He’s a little like you, Kakashi! Ebisu and Genma and you, I would have missed you guys. I’m glad I came back.”

“What are you going to do now?” Kakashi asked broadly.

Guy answered narrowly, “Reunite with my team, of course! It’ll be a little awkward. Whatever tongue-lashing Ebisu plans to give me, I am ready to accept it!”

“I’m sure Genma will take your side either way.”

“You’re going to meet back up with Obito and Rin, right, Kakashi?”

Kakashi smirked. “I can’t wait to see Obito’s face. He was laughing like I was in trouble when I was called to the Hokage. When he hears that I was sent on a solo A-rank mission, I don’t think he’ll be laughing again.”

Guy blinked in surprise. “Looking for me was an A-rank mission? I’m A-rank important?” He got in Kakashi’s face excitedly. “I’m as strong as someone A-rank? Isn’t that like a jonin?”

“Why are you proud of that?”

“Because I think Papa would say that’s really cool of me! Of course, I shouldn’t be proud to be mistaken as a deserter from my precious village, no matter what, but still!”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Guy arched an eyebrow curiously.

“If it was me, I would definitely be worth an S-rank mission, at least,” Kakashi teased.

Guy’s grin widened. “You wanna bet? I beat you just earlier today! I’m just as tough as you now!”

“You got lucky.”

They glared at each other competitively, but both broke down into laughter. Guy could blame his tears on his laughter now. The air finally felt light around them.

“You know,” Guy started, when that finally died down. “Earlier, you said that with Papa gone, I’m officially the coolest shinobi you know…”

Kakashi grimaced. “Did I really say that? Out loud?”

“With Papa gone, you’re officially the person I love the most in this world. So, until I know I’m strong enough to protect you like Papa protected me, there’s no way I can let myself die. That’s a self-rule,” he said with a bashful good guy pose.

A playful smirk spread on Kakashi’s face. “You don’t have to be in a rush.”

“Huh?”

“I can take care of myself. You’re never going to need to protect me. So, you don’t have to be in a rush to go off and die.”

It all flew over Guy’s head, of course. Kakashi sighed. “…You probably haven’t eaten anything but soldier pills for weeks, right?” he said, trying to hide his face as he turned around and walked to the kitchen. “I’m going to make dinner.”

* * *

 

_The fire’s soft crackling would have lulled him to sleep, had he not been drowning in tea since he woke up. There was so much to read, so much lost understanding to be recovered._

_So much anger to understand, felt every time he approached the subject of the White Fang and what happened and why he had fallen out of grace. Mission logs and angry letters and diary entries. Regrets and mistakes and last words._

_In Kakashi’s experience, the only things that defied his understanding were things that didn’t matter or things that didn’t make sense in the first place. But apparently, he had missed something important. He must have._

_He’d had to bury his father’s body by himself. There had to have been some reason for that._

_If it was up to Kakashi, he would spend all his time alone trying to figure that out. He’d go to the academy and then straight home to read and reread these entries and try to work out the different ways it could have happened. The fact that he was a so-called genius and he couldn’t find an answer was infuriating. It hurt._

_Why should Duy’s presence soothe that ache? The sympathetic light in his eyes, the warmth of his smile, made Kakashi want to attack him._

_Yet the man entered, yet again, and begian rambling about his day to Kakashi._

_The boy could never bring himself to leave or kick him out._

* * *

 

Guy relished the meal, closing his eyes in concentration before swallowing the first bite down.

When Guy opened his eyes, Kakashi was convinced that this is what adoration in its purest form must look like. “Rival?”

Kakashi tilted his head, feeling a sudden nervousness, somehow.

Then Guy smiled. Whenever Guy smiled, it was big, beaming and blinding—but not right now.

Soft? Sappy? No, Kakashi looked for a better word.

Tender.

Guy took another bite almost reverently. “It tastes like…” he trailed off, apparently searching for the right words as well.

It was rare for him to do anything with that much delicacy. Kakashi blinked as if to take a second look. The smile bloomed on Guy’s lips, framed by a rosy blush on his cheeks. Guy’s eyes met Kakashi’s, and Kakashi thought he saw the sadness in them vanish all at once. “…home. It tastes like home. You’re a really good cook, Kakashi! As good as my Papa!”

Kakashi’s eyes smiled in relief. Maybe it was a good thing that Guy and Duy had dragged him over here so much. A few extra stolen recipes were always a good thing. “I am? Good.”

Guy was silent for a while, then a smile broke out on his face, and soon enough, he was howling with laughter. Kakashi was beet red with embarrassment. "I can't believe it...! You’re… being so nice to me, Rival...! It’s so weird!" Guy wheezed before laughing even louder than before.

It was annoying, infuriating, obnoxious.

It was the first time all day that Guy was acting like someone that Kakashi recognized.

“You’re a lot like him, after all.” Kakashi’s voice was soft as a slow, incredulous smile spread across his face.

Guy blushed, caught off-guard by the praise. He practically choked on his own laughter.

* * *

 

_“Thank you for keeping an eye on them, Duy-san.”_

_When Sakumo returned from missions, he never seemed very drained. Being a father seemed to make him wearier than S-ranks._

_But when he saw Sakumo eating ice cream as Duy lead him through the streets of Konoha, telling him about everything the boys had been up to during his mission, all of the challenges and arguments and academy tests, he seemed refreshed. Duy’s influence had really started to have an effect on Sakumo. He was the one, after all, that convinced Sakumo that Kakashi needed a babysitter at all._

_The fathers shared a laugh and finally turned their attention back to the children. “Of course! I would do anything for our sons, anytime! Why, you’re practically a second father to my Guy, and I’m like one to Kakashi, don’t you think? Fathers-in-law, that’s what we are!”_

_Sakumo seemed flustered by the sudden declaration. “Fathers-in-law? That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”_

_“Rivalry is a bond as deep as any marriage! Deeper, in fact!” Duy went on to clarify, and Sakumo breathed out a sigh of relief._

_“Ah, so then, you’re married, Duy-san…?”_

_“Nope! Never been!”_

_“…Oh, that’s,” Sakumo was visibly trying to decide if he should backtrack on that topic or not. Sakumo seemed doomed to accidental rudeness whenever he was talking to Duy. “Sorry.”_

_Duy laughed and patted Sakumo on the back. “Sorry for what? It’s nothing! Don’t look so down!”_

_“Are we married?” Guy whispered softly into Kakashi’s ear, turning his head slightly. His smile was more of a grimace._

_Kakashi just rolled his eyes._

* * *

 

Kakashi still caught himself, somehow, thinking that all of it might have been a dream. He half expected to be woken up by the sound of Duy’s off-key singing and the scent of him cooking something in the kitchen.

Singing did wake him up. Heavy-lidded from deep slumber, Kakashi squinted to make out a figure moving about the kitchen.

“Oh! You’re awake! Ka-ka-shi!” Guy roared as he came barreling into the room, dressed in green and orange and red. “Good morning!” With welcoming arms, Guy swept Kakashi out of bed and off his feet, spinning him around once, twice, three times in an affectionate embrace. “I made breakfast! Kakashi! I challenge you! Eating competition!”

Kakashi freed himself from the hug and patted the dust off his clothes. “You want to go back to your losing streak already, Guy?” He taunted.

“No!” Guy turned and dashed into the kitchen. “I want to hurry up and continue my winning streak on you! I have to keep it up! So that when I see Papa again, I can tell him how I beat you! I’m going to even out our scores today, and if I can’t, I’ll run a hundred laps around the village!”

If Kakashi didn’t know better, he would say that this really was back to normal.

Duy wasn’t going to laugh and cheer on his son’s foolhardy determination, though. So Kakashi did instead. “At least everyone will know you’re back now.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> When Kakashi mentions that Guy and Duy sometimes speak a different language, he's referring to Mandarin.
> 
> I've seen a number of stories where Guy is there for Kakashi after Sakumo dies, and they were all great, but I don't think I've come across one exploring Kakashi interacting with Guy after Duy dies? So I'll definitely revisit the idea sometime!


End file.
